Transcripts/Father Knows Beast
Twilight Sparkle: Woo-hoo-hoo! : Spike: Whoa! Ta-da! : Twilight Sparkle: Okay, Spike. Now let's try a flip. Remember – two flaps, then straight up! : Spike: Got it! : flapping : Spike: grunts : splash : Spike: inhales : flapping : bump : thud : crash : fwip : thud : Twilight Sparkle: You're doing great, Spike. Now let's see the big finish! : Spike: sighs : sloop! : Spike: Whoa-oa-oa-oa! : crash : Spike: grunts I don't know about "big", but I am definitely finished. : Twilight Sparkle: Maybe I should get Rainbow Dash. She's the one who taught me advanced flying techniques. : Spike: No, thanks. If I'm gonna mess up, I'd rather do it in front of you. I just don't understand why none of your advice is helping. : Smolder: Because she's teaching you to fly like a pony instead of a dragon. : Spike: What's the difference? : Smolder: Well, we don't have feathers, for starters. : Spike: Ye-he-he-hes! : hoof-bump : Spike: Wow! Thank you so much! How did you know I just needed to bend my wings? : Smolder: Honestly, this is Dragon 101. Usually dragon parents teach this stuff. : knock : opens : Twilight Sparkle: Spike, I've been thinking about our flying lesson. : Spike: Uh-huh... : Twilight Sparkle: I can't believe I overlooked something as simple as feathers. It's no wonder you were having trouble. I wish I had more "dragonish" knowledge to give you. Do you think being raised by ponies has affected you in other ways? Spike? : Spike: Did you say something, Twilight? Sorry. I'm just finishing up this "thank-you" throw pillow for Smolder. And you know how I get when I'm in the embroidery zone. : Twilight Sparkle: chuckles : song : Spike: It's a pillow! But not for your head. Although it could be. It's a throw pillow. They're more casual. You can use 'em anywhere. You don't like it. : Smolder: Uh, it's not that. It's just dragons don't really use pillows. At all. : Spike: What? : Smolder: Hey, what's that? : Spike: I don't know. But it's... heading right for us! : crash! : Spike: Okay. Now I really owe you for the lesson. : Sludge: chuckles Hey there, young dragons. coughs Name's Sludge. How are yours tails shakin'? groans : Spike: You all right? : Smolder: Yeah. What happened? : Sludge: To what? : thud : Sludge: Oh. I don't need to explain myself to a couple of baby dragons. and whimpering : thud : Sludge: Ow... : Spike: Maybe not. But you're hurt and need help. So I'm taking you to Twilight's castle whether you like it or not? : Sludge: Castle, eh? groans : Twilight Sparkle: I'm glad Spike brought you here, Sludge. I understand you made quite the impression in town. : Pinkie Pie: Literally! There's a hole and everything! : Sludge: Well, I hope you're not expecting me to fix it. groans : Applejack: It doesn't look like you're in much shape to do anything. : Sludge: I'll manage. Dragons take care of themselves. I don't need help from a bunch of castle-livin' ponies. whimpers : Rarity: Darling, do be careful. : Sludge: I'm... groans ...fine. : thud : Fluttershy: I can't watch! : Rainbow Dash: You're not the first stubborn dragon we've met, you know? : Spike: And sometimes, even dragons need help. : Twilight Sparkle: I promise. My friends and I will only do enough to get you back on your claws. : music : machine whirring : press whirring : Sludge: sighs : crash! : creak : Sludge: sniffs : clang! : thud : Sludge: noisily : Mane Six and Spike: cheer : Sludge: chomp : Twilight Sparkle: I know you had your reservations, but it's good to see you feeling better. : Sludge: T-Thanks, I guess. : Rarity: That's what friends are for, darling. : Sludge: You're pretty lucky to have friends like these, kid. : Spike: Actually, I was orphaned as an egg, and Twilight raised me. So these ponies are more than my friends. They're my family. : Twilight Sparkle: We try our best, but sometimes I worry that maybe Spike is... : Spike: Missing something deep down and dragonish. : Sludge: Really? Wow. I-I can't tell you how glad I am to hear that. : Applejack: Why in Equestria would you be glad to hear that? : Sludge: I wasn't gonna say anything since your life seemed so perfect, but I have a confession to make. Coming to Ponyville wasn't an accident. I was looking for you. Spike... sighs I'm your father. : Mane Six: gasp : Pinkie Pie: gasping Sorry. : Twilight Sparkle: So you crashed in Ponyville on purpose? : Sludge: Well, the crash part wasn't on purpose, but heading here was. I've been searching everywhere for you, kid. : Spike: Did you ask in the Crystal Empire? I'm kind of well-known there. : Pinkie Pie: Actually, Spike's well-known everywhere. Not a lot of dragons were hatched by the Princess of Friendship. : Applejack: Mm-hmm. : Sludge: up You make it sound so simple. I wish you'd been there to help me search. : open : Spike: I can't believe it. I have so many questions. : Sludge: Well, ask away. Answering questions is what dads are for. : Spike: I guess my biggest question is simple. Why was I an orphaned egg? : Sludge: stammers You sure you don't want to ask something else? up It's a lot of painful memories. sighs Your mother was the best dragon I'd ever met. : Sludge: voiceover The Dragon Lord even picked her to scout for the Great Migration, and-and even though she just laid your egg, we knew she'd have to go. But finding the Migration route could take a lifetime, and you deserved a chance to know your mother. So I went looking for you, carrying your egg to places no dragon or pony has ever been. Past Mount Aris, the abandoned home of the Hippogriffs... : Pinkie Pie: Ooh! Did you visit Klugetown? : Sludge: You've been to Klugetown? : Mane Six: affirming : Twilight Sparkle: Also, the Hippogriffs returned to Mount Aris after we helped them defeat the Storm King. : Sludge: Oh, well, have you heard of the Land of the... Scale Collectors? : Twilight Sparkle: Uh-uh. : Sludge: Spike Because that's where your mother's trail finally led. : Sludge: voiceover To a prison world of dragon hunters, where I was forced to choose between surrendering myself or surrendering your egg. : clang! : Sludge: choked up Of course, there was no way I was gonna sacrifice my boy. So they took me instead, and that's where I'd been ever since. : Sludge: Locked up somewhere not even the Princess of Friendship has heard of. : Spike: Whoa... How did you know I was a boy? : Fluttershy: Whatever happened to Spike's mom? : Rainbow Dash: And how did the egg make it all the way back to Equestria by itself? : Pinkie Pie: Hmm? : Sludge: I wish I had all the answers. crying : Spike: Well, that's all in the past. The only thing that matters now is that we're together. And I'm gonna make up for lost time. : Spike: I hope you don't mind, but I have a list of all the things I always wanted to do with my dad? : Sludge: Mind? Spike, my boy, with you by my side, I feel like we could do anything. What do you want to do first? : Spike: Well, I've kind of been working on a list for a long time. : unrolls : Sludge: Dude, you want to do all of this? : Spike: Oh. I mean, w-we don't have to. : Sludge: If you think doing everything on this incredibly long list is gonna fill the hole where your dragonishness should be, then that is exactly what we're gonna do! : Spike: gasps : music : Granny Smith: whistle : Sludge: belches fire : Pinkie Pie: Woo-hoo! : Spike: Oh, yeah! : whistling : tearing : tearing : timer rings : Sludge: noisily : Sludge: gulps : Spike: I can't believe we got so many things done. But this is all my stuff. Is there anything you always wanted to do with me? : Sludge: Not really. : beat : Sludge: Uhhh, I mean, uh, I'm happy to do whatever you want. But if I had a castle like this with all this stuff, I'd probably just lay around all day doing nothing like a real dragon. : Spike: Like a real dragon? : Sludge: Sure! I'm not surprised you don't know any better. Twilight basically raised you as a pony. You're barely a dragon at all. : Spike: Huh? : open : Twilight Sparkle: Hey, Spike! How are things going with Sludge? : Spike: Honestly, I thought having him around would make me feel more dragonish. But I kind of feel less. : Twilight Sparkle: Oh, I'm sorry. I wish I could help. : Sludge: Awww, shucks. noisily I guess I shouldn't have said anything about you being more pony than dragon. I just wish we had more in common. : Twilight Sparkle: Maybe you two can come up with ways to turn up Spike's, uh, dragonishness. : Spike: You think that's something we can do? : Sludge: You know what, son? I think it is! : Sludge: Spike, I'm gonna teach you a thing or two about being a dragon. So, listen up, my boy, because I'm only gonna say this once. :: Look at this castle where you live : Spike: It's pretty sweet, right? : Sludge :: You can't be a dragon here : Spike: Uh, I can't? : Sludge :: Look at these books up on the wall : Spike: Hey, I just finished organizing those! : Sludge :: This treasure pile's not right, I fear : Trust me, I got you covered here. You see all this soft pony stuff you're surrounded with? This has got to be the first thing to go. :: Nothin' 'bout this place says "dragon den", there's too much fluff :: All these fancy robes, toss in a pile :: Take those goblets, dishes, is that gold? Still not enough! :: De-ponifying might just take a while :: Sure, this place is grandiose :: But to a dragon, it's just gross :: Time we make the lot all disappear :: Reality you need a dose :: To all these ponies, you're too close :: You just can't be a dragon here : Good job, my boy! But this is still just the beginning! :: Each and every dragon has a swagger all his own :: Watch and I'll show you what I mean :: You can't move like this with so much stuff to weigh you down :: A dragon always keeps it lean : Lose this! This! Ooh, this is nice! :: Your life is soft, your scales are coiffed :: These pillows, beds, and sheets are washed :: A delight, but it's just not right what's underneath :: Every dragon must be free :: Look at you, then look at me :: Since when do dragons brush their teeth? : Ha! Please! :: Sure, this place is grandiose :: But to a dragon, it's just gross :: Time we make the lot all disappear : Spike: What do I do? : Sludge :: Just grab it all and give to me :: After that, then you'll be free :: You just can't be a dragon heeeeere! : Spike: Ha! You're right! I feel better already! : Sludge: See? What did I tell you? You're very lucky that I found you. Now, go get me some more. : Spike: You got it! I'm gonna go get you all the cushy pony stuff I've got... Dad. : Sludge: Great! Go get 'em... son! :: 'Cause this dragon just can't wait to live here :: laughter : on door : opens : Twilight Sparkle: Spike? I just thought I'd check to see if you and Sludge had any luck turning up your dragonishness. It's hard not to feel like somehow I let you down all these years. : Sludge: grunting : Twilight Sparkle: Oh! I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to barge in on ya! : Sludge: sighs Ah, don't worry about it. Mi castle es su castle. : Twilight Sparkle: Right. Well, I'll just get out of your way. : closes : squeak! : splattering : Twilight Sparkle: Oh! Spike! I'm so sorry. My morning is not going well. What is all this? Why'd you leave the castle so early? : Spike: I didn't leave. I spent the night outdoors to get in touch with my dragon side. : Twilight Sparkle: Outdoors? : Spike: Yeah! And Sludge asked me to bring him the best breakfast Ponyville has to offer so he can show me how a real dragon would eat it. See you later! : closes : open : Twilight Sparkle: ...And that's why I thought we could use the map to— : Spike: Hey, gang! Dad was just showing me how a real dragon would act in a throne room. : Sludge: Dragons like to sprawl when they get their claws done. blows Now, if you'll all excuse me, it's time for my bath. : Spike: sighs Isn't he the best? : Rarity: I'm not sure that's exactly the word I would use. : Sludge: Uh, Spike? The bath isn't gonna fill itself, son. : Spike: Be right there... Dad. : Twilight Sparkle: I'm glad you're not spending the night outside again. : Spike: Oh, I am. I'm just looking for a good bedtime story to read to my dad first. : Twilight Sparkle: It's nice that you have somepony to show you dragon culture. But are you sure that's what Sludge is doing? : Spike: What do you mean? : Twilight Sparkle: Well, taking over your room, making a mess of things... : Spike: scoffs That is dragon culture. : Twilight Sparkle: You never acted like that. : Spike: That's because you raised me. Now I finally have a chance to see how I'm supposed to be. : Twilight Sparkle: I don't think you're supposed to be any different than who you are. : Spike: Maybe you just don't like that I have a real parent now. : cracking : Twilight Sparkle: That's not true! I'm glad Sludge is here. I-I just wish he wasn't such a— : Spike: Dragon? Of all ponies, I can't believe you would have a problem with that. : Twilight Sparkle: sighs : splashing : rustling : Smolder: What happened to you? : Spike: Just sleeping outside like we're meant to. It's not like dragons are supposed to live in castles. : Smolder: I... guess not. But I live in the school. Nothing says we have to live outside. : Spike: sighs I'm so confused. It's been great having Sludge show me how to be a real dragon, but Twilight just doesn't get it. : Smolder: What do you mean? : Spike: She can't handle how good at being a dragon Sludge is. Maybe someday, I'll be able to lay around doing nothing as well as he does. : Smolder: What? : Spike: Well, not now, of course. I'm too busy bringing him pony stuff so he can show me what a dragon would do with it. : Smolder: So, Sludge just lays around while you wait on him claw and tail? Uh, dragons are rude and rebellious, but they aren't lazy lumps who take advantage of their kids. : Spike: Huh. Now I'm really confused. : Smolder: Me, too. Why don't you tell me everything Sludge said about being a dragon? : opens : Sludge: noisily Hey! What's going on, son? : Spike: Twilight doesn't like having real dragons in the castle, so I told her we're moving out. : Sludge: coughs You what?! : Smolder: Spike! I found the perfect cave where you two can live! There aren't even any comfortable rocks inside! : Spike: That does sound perfect! : Sludge: No, it doesn't! I-I-I mean, uh, I'm not sure I fully demonstrated all the ways a dragon would live here. : Spike: But we're not gonna live here anymore, so it doesn't matter. : Sludge: It matters to me! stammers I want to make sure you have all the knowledge you need. : Spike: But I do. Dad, you've already shared so much. :: singing This bed is much too soft :: Just take that silk robe off :: We can't be dragons living here : Sludge and Spike: straining : Sludge: Stop! I'm not your father! : Spike: What? : Sludge: I just said that to get in on this sweet castle life. : Spike: So... you... pretended to be my dad? : Sludge: Now-now-now-now-now, don't look at me like that, kid. I did what any dragon would do. : Smolder: No. You didn't. : Sludge: Hey. I saw an opportunity, and I took it. That's what dragons do. : Smolder: No. It isn't. : Sludge: You know what? I don't need this. I'm out of here! Enjoy lovin' pony town! : Spike: sighs : Sludge: I'm taking this pillow. : Spike: I can't believe I thought somepony like that could show me how to be anything. : Smolder: Uh... it must be hard growing up not really knowing who you are. : Spike: That's the thing. I know exactly who I am. And how I got that way. : opens : Spike: Um, Twilight? : Twilight Sparkle: Oh. Hi. Where's your father? : Spike: He's gone. Turns out he wasn't what a real dragon should be after all. He also wasn't my real dad. : Twilight Sparkle: Oh, Spike. I'm so sorry. : Spike: I'm the one who's sorry. You were just worried about me, and I lost my temper. Sludge was just a great big phony. : Twilight Sparkle: I have to say, I'm not surprised. There's no way a dragon like that was related to you. But if you still want to search for your real family, I'd understand if you spent more time in the Dragon Lands. : Spike: I don't think so. I already know who my real family is. : Twilight Sparkle: Aww! It's me, right? : Spike: Mm-hmm! Besides, there's no way I'm living without pillows. : credits